Have you ever felt jealousy in a relationship and want to overcome that feeling to save your relationship? You get suspicious every time your partner’s phone rings or lights up, or your partner’s interaction with their friends makes you a little uncomfortable, even though you are living a healthy and happy relationship.
Welcome to the world of jealousy.
Jealousy is a very normal human emotion, and in small doses, it can even be healthy and lovable. Still, when it is not addressed accurately, jealousy can quickly become unhealthy and cause unwanted issues between you and your loved ones.
Learn how to deal with jealousy in a relationship by following the below-mentioned tips and strategies that will help you feel relaxed and secure about your relationship and yourself.
How Does Jealousy Work?
Jealousy is a harmful kind of reaction to specific actions, whether real or imagined. The envious partner worries that someone else is vying for their lover’s affection.
Jealousy is hazardous because it can make a jealous partner feel angry, disdainful, nervous, and depressed. In a relationship, a small amount of envy can be comforting and even inherent in us.
However, excessive jealousy can result in harmful behaviors, including physical abuse, violence in online dating, and stalking.
There is no reason to think that things will get better with time. Jealousy cannot be eradicated by wishful thinking. Since these emotions reach the very heart of the self, awareness and effort are required to overcome them.
Normal vs. Unhealthy Jealousy in Relationship
Normal jealousy is common, and sometimes it even makes relationships stronger and blooms love, but when it becomes intense or toxic, it can create many unwanted situations in life.
Being able to make a difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships is vital to the success of your relationship.
Healthy Jealousy
Indeed, the word “jealousy” sounds negative, but healthy jealousy is good, and it reminds couples not to take each other for granted. Moreover, it awakens the spark to appreciate each other and feel valued.
Jealousy intensifies feelings and increases the intensity of passionate love. When jealousy is used in moderation, it may be a constructive factor in a partnership and make the bond even more potent and softer. Jealousy is a protective emotion in healthy partnerships. When one of the partners feels that their relationship is in danger, they voice their concern or envy.
Together, they reason through the problem and conclude. Both of them are dedicated to the partnership, and there is no doubt about their separate identities.
Unhealthy or Extreme Jealousy
In a relationship, unhealthy jealousy can turn love into a cause of tension and worry. A deeper problem that jeopardizes the partnership’s basis is indicated by controlling actions and mistrust from a jealous lover, which calls for immediate attention and solutions.
Jealousy turns harmful when it develops into a persistent feeling of suspicion. This constant doubt has the potential to ruin a relationship by making the envious partner a stressor rather than a source of encouragement.
It is an indication of unhealthy jealousy when you use emotional blackmail, threats, or guilt to control your partner’s actions. In order to overcome envy in relationships, one must shift from manipulation to respect and understanding for one another.
Differences between healthy and unhealthy jealousy are necessary for the security and longevity of any relationship. Identifying the signs and working together to overcome the causes of jealousy can lead to a stronger and more fruitful partnership.
Causes of Jealousy
Jealousy is one of those emotions we all experience at some point in our life but don’t like to accept it. It can creep into our relationships, havoc our peace, make us feel like we are out of control, and soon become harmful towards each phase of life.
So, let’s dive into the root causes of jealousy and share how we can deal with them effectively to plant a seed of healthier and happier relationships.
Fear of Being Replaced
People rarely sense envy until they feel threatened by another person or entity.
- Sibling jealousy is typically motivated by a child’s concern that his or her parents will replace him or her with a new sibling or will prefer another sibling.
- In a romantic relationship, the third individual does not have to constitute harm indeed; simply being perceived as a threat is enough to set envy in motion.
Past Experiences
Our past experiences shape our current world. If we’ve been hurt, misled, or disappointed in previous relationships, we bring those wounds into our current ones. These unresolved concerns can cause envy because we reflect our prior fears onto our current situation.
Lack of Trust
Trust is the foundation of all healthy relationships. If there has been a breakdown of trust, or if the trust was never correctly formed, jealousy can quickly take root. Without trust, every action and contact is viewed through the lens of suspicion and skepticism.
Comparison and Competition
In today’s society, social media has made it far too simple to compare oneself to others. We see edited snippets of other people’s lives and relationships, and we feel dissatisfied. This constant comparison can fuel jealousy because we become preoccupied with what we believe others have that we do not.
Fear of Abandonment
Jealousy is typically driven by a fear of being abandoned. We are concerned that our partner may discover someone better and leave us. This dread can be overwhelming, leading to controlling or possessive behaviors as we try to protect what we have.
How to Deal with Jealousy in a Relationship?
If you are experiencing jealousy, it is essential to overcome it before it gets out of control. Both you and your partner can learn how to deal with jealousy healthily and give one more chance to your relationship to turn this envy moment into an opportunity of love and trust.
Acknowledge and Understand Your Jealousy
The first step toward overcoming jealousy in relationships is to recognize and comprehend your jealousy. Jealousy is a natural emotion, yet it can be detrimental if not well managed.
Recognize when you are envious and try to understand why. Do you feel insecure about your relationship? Are there specific behaviors that make you jealous? Understanding the underlying source of your jealousy will help you manage it better.
Be Open and Honest
We all have heard the popular proverb, “Honesty is the best policy.” If you have done nothing wrong that compels your partner to distrust you, there is no reason to hide secrets. This will stop your partner from overthinking about a situation that does not even exist and won’t take place in the future.
“Transparency will help both of you feel more secure and protected.” And this behavior enables a jealous partner to be reassured that nothing is wrong and also helps them overcome this jealous feeling.
Be BOLD About Your Concerns
If your partner’s activities (or someone else’s actions toward your partner) cause you to be jealous, talk to him or her right away. When you both have time to talk, discuss jealousy. Avoid heavy conversations before bedtime or when leaving. It’s possible that your partner didn’t see the behavior or didn’t understand how you felt about it.
Remember that jealousy is entirely normal, so don’t be afraid to express it. At some point, your partner may have felt jealous as well.
Boost Your Own Confidence
When you feel good about yourself, you are less inclined to be jealous. Do activities that make you proud and confident. It may be learning something new, engaging in an activity you enjoy, or simply taking care of yourself.
Build Strong Coping Skills
It might be challenging to let go of envy in relationships if you don’t have healthier ways to interact. It is up to you to tame the source of your jealousy as long as your partner does not give you a reason to be suspicious or jealous (for example, by cheating on you or lying on a regular basis).
Recognize that you don’t need jealousy; you’re used to it. Practice self-care to improve your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Prioritizing suitable coping mechanisms makes them the norm and eventually replaces jealousy.
Build Your Own Life
It’s unhealthy to depend on your mate for fulfillment. To avoid becoming dependent on your partner and overly invested in how they spend their time, strive to develop interests and an identity separate from your partner and your relationship.
Fill your time with activities you enjoy. Surround yourself with supporting friends and family. Your partner cannot be accountable for your happiness; that must come from you. And if you’re content with who you are and what’s going on in your own life, you’ll be more comfortable with your partner doing their own thing.
Embrace Mindfulness
Mindfulness practices allow you to pay attention to your thoughts and feelings as they arise without judging or criticizing them. Increasing your awareness of jealousy might help you recognize any patterns it exhibits, including situations that occur before you get envious.
Mindfulness can also help you feel better about jealousy. For example, it can help you recognize and accept your jealous sentiments as part of your emotional experience, allowing you to go on.
Not judging the jealousy, or yourself for feeling it, can help you avoid its harmful effects.
Key Takeaways
In short, dealing with jealousy in a relationship takes serious effort and commitment from both partners. Moreover, jealousy is unexpected and confusing; you always need to understand where it comes from and in which direction it takes you. Once you do understand the root cause of jealousy, start finding ways to overcome it.
It addresses feelings and starts nurturing relationships. You deserve healthy, fruitful, and satisfied relations with your loved ones and other members. So, try the above-proven ways to deal with it and make space for happy relationships.
FAQs
What causes jealous behaviour?
Many reasons can contribute to jealousy, including attachment style, personality type, low self-esteem, and previous relationship experiences. The experience is not one-size-fits-all, and envy manifests differently for each person. However, jealousy nearly usually indicates an unmet need, whether in a relationship or your life.
Is jealousy poisonous?
Jealousy is not an inherently toxic emotion; nevertheless, jealousy that incorporates dominating behavior, excessive secrecy, guilt, gaslighting, manipulation, or any abuse can be highly poisonous and should be handled with caution.